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It was a legendary penis in the North East England town, and its owner had become a quasi-celebrity because of it. In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off.

Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3.

Steixner says. Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority. Take something as simple as riding a bike.

I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance. For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head.

Recently, Jordan has instituted a 3-month, no-sex rule. I want a chick who wants to be with me for the right reasons. While Jordan is looking for love, the newly unemployed Falcon is looking for work—but his manhood is getting in the way.

Falcon is a budding actor who wades through desk jobs to pay the bills. I remember when I met subsequent penises thinking they were really small and then eventually realizing, no, they were just average.

I was a sophomore in college; he was a struggling actor. We met at a party and hooked up a few times. The first two times were normal, pretty good sex.

His dick was massive, but I wasn't about to stroke his ego. The third time, I decided to be nice and tell him how big it was. He then asked if I could "handle the elephant's trunk" and then lightly started hitting my face back and forth with his dick, complete with elephant sound effects.

Poor guy, I think he thought he was being sexy. Oh, and I didn't see him again. I don't think I would be able to contain my laughter.

I started seeing this guy after breaking off a five-year-long relationship. Things went slow for a while because we had so many friends in common, we wanted to make sure it would work out before jumping into a relationship and then having to call it off.

Great, fantastic. After some weeks of keeping it PG, we went to his house Didn't think much of it or notice the size. Some days later we tried again — he did get it up, but when he went to put it in, it was just…impossible.

It was as if it were my first time all over again. I remember thinking of that SATC episode where Samantha really tries to make it work but the guy is just too big.

We gave up. But now I was intrigued. So we gave it a third shot. After a party where we both drank way too much, we ran to his place. He didn't have condoms so, as he told me later, he asked his friend for one as we were exiting the party.

The borrowed condom turned out to be red. We dated for a year. After I had my IUD put in, my boyfriend could feel the strings. The IUD is in your uterus but the strings hang down into your vagina so you can check to confirm that the IUD is still in place.

So my doctor trimmed them a bit shorter. When I told him during my next appointment that my boyfriend could STILL feel the strings, he looked completely taken aback.

That's when I knew I was dealing with an EP enormous penis. So, years ago, I devoted my entire existence to sexual conquest.

It's pretty common, particularly for gay meth addicts, to just obsessively cycle through one hookup to the next, trying to stay high and get more sex.

As a general bottom with storied experience with the D, I figured that I was up for any challenge. I was a professional, so I thought.

I meet a fellow on Adam4Adam who claims to have a footlong penis. I think it's bullshit: I know that most penises online are around eight inches and in reality they're more like six.

So, I'm guessing that this guy is just exaggerating to try to rope in hungry bottoms. I figure, at best, he's nine inches and just exaggerating.

Male ego and all that. So I invite him over. You good? Something like that. He very clearly asked me if I could really take it. I confidently invited him over.

I got really high, and I was half expecting him not to show up based upon the fact that he was advertising something so ridiculously over-the-top.

He did, in fact, show up. He's scrawny, like 5'9", maybe pounds soaking wet. I'm like, Well, the proportion would make an average dick look huge anyway, so that probably helps him too.

He tells me to start sucking his dick. It flops out. It's incredibly large flaccid — like nearly actual inches.

Because really? That's just a tad bit juvenile. Don't worry. When the time comes, if you take it slow and careful, sex will be fine.

No guy is so big that sex is impossible. Sorry but when you tell a story about how huge of a penis he has then say, he's your 'dream guy,' it sounds a bit shallow.

Just treat it as a normal reletionship don't go crazy because of that. Don't be a freak or something idk. Trending News. Lucille Ball's great-granddaughter dies at Virginia health officials warn of venomous caterpillars.

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Video of ICE agents stopping Black jogger. It doesn't get more cruel than Tyrod Taylor's demotion. More trending news? Visit Yahoo Home.

Answer Save. Good friend Ed Sheeran confirms the size of Styles' package. Brandon Routh. According to rumors, the bulge on Brandon Routh had to be digitally altered so it would not distract both Superman Returns viewers.

David Beckham. We're just using our eyes on this one. Have you seen those David Beckham underwear ads?!? Michael Fassbender. We all saw his junk in the movie Shame.

Prometheus co-star Charlize Theron even went so far as to say Fassbender's "penis was a revelation" and she is "available to work with it any time.

Shemar Moore. We are not posting any Shemar Moore naked photos here. But they exist online. And they back up this point. Ben Affleck.

And yes Ralph Fiennes. Ralph Fiennes is so large down there, he had to have several inches of his penis digitally removed for the movie Red Dragon.

Director Brett Ratner apparently deemed it so big that it would be distracting to viewers. Liam Neeson. Jay Z. An ex-sex buddy of Mr.

Beyonce once said his penis is "like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The ounce bottle.

It's beyond huge. It could block the sun. Tommy Lee. Once again, the videotape speaks for itself. There's a reason Tommy Lee wanted to film himself sticking it to Pamela Anderson.

Willem Dafoe. Antichrist director Lars von Trier said of the star: "Everybody got very confused when they saw" his penis because it was so sizable.

Dan Rather. Someone once said Dan Rather that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent. Eddie Murphy.

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